Home Alone – The Final Day

I think he’s gonna make it.

Strange Times

By the time the police arrived, the aliens had already left and taken our furniture with them.  At least that’s what I told the officer.  The truth, of course, was a much different story, and I had lost much more that just chairs and sofas at last night’s poker game with a handful of my neighbor friends.  I figured an actual police report would make the whole alien excuse legitimate enough for Kim to believe upon her return, even if advanced beings probably had no use on their spaceship for an ottoman that our cats had been using as a scratching post for the last fourteen years.

The cats, incidentally, are no longer duct-taped to the ceiling fan.  They seemed agitated and hungry when I unwrapped the tape to set them free, and neither one appeared to recognize that I was the good guy for rescuing them as they wildly scrambled…

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Home Alone – Day 5

Day 5 . . . and it just keeps getting better!

Strange Times

It’s a good thing my wife will be home in just a couple of days.  The toxicity level in my body, mostly from alcohol and cheap cigars, has reached a critical level.  My coordination is off, my decision-making abilities are severely impaired, and I believe I may have started hallucinating.  I thought I spotted a cow in the kitchen this morning, our collection of books seems to be rearranging itself on the shelves just to taunt me, the silk plants are drooping from lack of water, and I looked up and saw that both cats had been duct-taped to opposing blades of the ceiling fan, spinning in slow circles above my throbbing head.  Actually, that last one wasn’t a hallucination.  I don’t know how they got there, whether it was by the gypsies or me, sleep-walking, but they seem to be safe right now, and I have other problems to deal…

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Home Alone – Day 4

Strange Times

The fire in the living room had gone out by daybreak, and the gypsies’ resolve in the assumption that this was their house was dwindling.  I credit this realization partly to the sobering effects of running out of drugs and alcohol, and also to the incredibly rude odor emanating from the overflowing litter box.  no amount of smoke could mask that smell, and it was almost pushing me out the door.  Also, there was also the matter of food.  I had none; the gypsies had eaten it all.  I had a plan, and it involved food that was hidden in my secret stash.  Junk food.  Powerful stuff.

I was able to procure two bags of Doritos from my special hiding place in my art studio.  I walked into the living room, shaking the bags as I entered.  My unwanted guests all looked up at once and arose as I slowly…

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Home Alone – Day 3

Day 3 == I just can’t resist sharing this stuff. It’s hilarious!

Strange Times

I can’t remember what kind of night I had experienced, but it was a very wet morning.  The sun was streaming though the ragged palmetto scrubs and huge live oak trees.  It’s Florida’s version of spring, or maybe autumn, and the oak trees were shedding their leaves, turning the sky into a giant blender of small, brown and yellow twirling ovals.  It was, perhaps, the first time I have ever awakened in a neighbor’s swimming pool.  My body’s alcohol content must have been ridiculously high, because I floated easily in the over-chlorinated pool.  I heard a rasping noise that seemed to be coming out of my own head, like Darth Vader with a sore throat.  I moved my head and felt pressure around my ears and my hair.  I stretched both arms forward and grasped only water; I was belly down in the pool.  How was I breathing?  I reached up and…

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Home Alone – Day 1

Written by author of funtastic novel, STRANGE TIMES IN YEEHAW JUNCTION . . . some of my favorite blog posts come from Rick Sanders.

Strange Times

My wife is gone for a week or so, and she’s left me alone to take care of things – mainly our two cats and one bird.  Every year she goes on a pilgrimage to Orlando to stay with her family in a time share resort around Disney World.  Mickey’s home.

I don’t understand the whole Disney phenomenon.  Just the idea of staying in a tourist resort area that’s owned and operated by a giant talking rat gives me the heebie-jeebies.  I’ve lived in Florida for a while, and my feelings for tourists visiting from up north and hanging out at these places are abysmal at best.  Thousands of rotund, pink-skinned, loud-talking vagrants engrossed in staring at swaying palm trees while drinking rum runners poolside, for hours.  Yes, hours.  The frozen drinks at these places are made with the cheapest alcohol available, some of it distilled illegally inside of rusty, old…

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“Bed of Bones” Unearths Skeletons in Small-Town Closet

Bed of Bonesv2-600x900Review by Janet Green, thewordverve

Bed of Bones Author Cheryl Bradshaw

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Cheryl Bradshaw is a consummate pro in the indie writing world, leading the pack in terms of communicating and connecting with her fans and other writers. I’ve had the pleasure of working with her editorially on many of her stories, and she never disappoints in terms of positive energy. She seeks top-notch quality in all that she does from ongoing research to the final presentation of each book. Then the cherry on the sundae . . . her stories are 200-percent entertaining.

Bed of Bones, Bradshaw’s latest whodunit, blends an age-old murder case with current day Sloane Monroe, a tough detective who is low on patience and big on results. As the murderous history of one small town comes to light through a Sundance Film Festival movie, the wheels start coming off the cart for townsfolk and visitors alike. But small-town mysteries as withered and worn as this one are hard to unravel. Will Sloane break through the ties that bind and uncover the truth?

Whether or not you’re familiar with the works of Cheryl Bradshaw, or with the peppery Sloane, there is no better time than now to take a bite. Delicious. As usual.
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“The Sceptre of Storms” Electrifies with Ageless Appeal

Reviewed by Janet Green, thewordverve inc.400919_10151400159902352_128969584_n

The Sceptre of Storms is Greg James’ followup to The Sword of Sighs (see my review here), and is classified as a young adult fantasy but well, let me tell ya, folks . . . this is a book for all ages for the ages. With a fluid, dark writing style, James’ words make you feel like Gandalf, or maybe Sean Connery, is narrating masterfully to you as you read.

Okay, all that’s good, but it’s not the best part of this story.  The caviar here is the mind-blowing, twisted essence of the evildoers in this tale.  James pulls out all stops in the creativity department with things (for lack of a better term) that do . . . things (for lack of a better term) . . . to those who oppose the Darkness. Wormtooth, mindreazers, fellfolk, necrodragons, and other demons of the shadows. Oh, what they do! My face would distort in horror as I read some of these parts . . . it was awesome.

Lucky for all of us, there are equally powerful do-gooders with their own spectacular bags of tricks, not the least of which is a sweet girl named Sarah Bean, upon which the destinies of many rest.

As an editor and reader of many types of great fiction, I am hopeful that Greg James in particular shoots to the top of his class for so many reasons: the music in his words, the ideas that he so lavishly creates and transfers, the editorial quality of his books, the beauty of his covers.

Apparently the third book in this traveling tale is due out late 2013.  I’ll be a buyer for sure.  Can James possibly keep up this level of BOOM POW WOW?  I think he can.

Click here to purchase The Sceptre of Storms from Amazon.

Candy is Dandy, but Thrillers Won’t Ruin Your Teeth

By Janet Green, thewordverve.com 

You’re a thriller lover: police procedurals, psychothrillers, suspense. You want it all.

You’re picking through the myriad of options, never really knowing what’s going to hit or miss for your tastebuds.  You’re looking for that one Zot candy in the masses, the one that will sizzle your brain and electrify your senses.  Hopefully, it will be a series, so you can latch on for a wild ride with an author you know and trust.

OH! Lookie here:  What’s this?five

Let your imagination run wild, thriller lovers.  FIRST SHOTS has arrived. This insanely affordable (free through 8/16/2013, regularly $9.99, still a helluva bargain) boxed set contains:

FIRST NOVELS IN FIVE SERIES BY BEST-SELLING ARTISANS OF SUSPENSE, as the title goes.  Complete novels! Best-selling authors! Read all about it HERE ON AMAZON.

Now, you have an entire candy store within which to browse with one click of the mouse!  Rick Murcer, Tim Ellis, Gary Ponzo, Dani Amore, Lawrence Kelter — some of the best indie authors in the industry.

My guess is you won’t stop here.  Ultimately, I envision big returns for these authors in terms of readers branching off into other books in their series’.  And big thrills for the readers, who appreciate well-written, eyeball-popping suspense.

Coming from someone who has read most of these books (and ensuing series), there isn’t a bad malted milk ball in the bunch.

Do it.

Five-Star Review Has Us Howling with Delight!

 

From the Ranch Hero website:

Five-Star Review Has Us Howling with Delight!.

Three cheers for Ranch Hero and the fantastic farm pals!

Unique Time-Travel Tale Will Blow You Away

my-two-lives-smallReviewed by Janet Green.

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I reviewed this book for Reader’s Favorite, purchased my own copy to support the author via Amazon, and wanted to share my review with our blog readers as well:

Applause applause for this ultra-creative time travel story. In My Two Lives by Jan Hunter, main character Jill Woods is a lovely Brit school teacher in her early thirties, who keeps her life as simple as possible and her heart well-protected—she’s had her fill of bad times, bad luck, and bad relationships. Until one day, while withdrawing a book from the stockroom of the history department at school, she finds herself pulled into a past life, where she works as a governess for a wealthy family. The upheaval of being bounced back and forth from her current life to 150 years ago is almost her undoing as she seeks to understand the reason she has been called to this parallel universe. As she slowly untangles the pieces of her current and former self, the answer becomes remarkably clear, changing her future forever.

This book is about unrequited love and second chances. It’s about laughing at oneself and appreciating one’s gifts. It’s about reconciling one’s past with one’s present. My Two Lives is unique and refreshing, as are the endearing characters who complete the picture. I laughed continuously throughout the story, as the first-person delivery of the tale (all seen through Jill’s eyes) charmed me with self-effacing, good-natured humor. I was pleasantly entertained by this story throughout its entirety. The transitions between main character Jill’s two lives and the message therein is so beautifully done by author Jan Hunter, I honestly wanted to applaud at the conclusion. But then I wanted it to keep going too. I highly recommend this novel, which is quite unlike anything I’ve yet read, and look forward to reading more by Jan Hunter.

Author website is www.janhunterauthor.com.

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