Home Alone – Day 1

My wife is gone for a week or so, and she’s left me alone to take care of things – mainly our two cats and one bird.  Every year she goes on a pilgrimage to Orlando to stay with her family in a time share resort around Disney World.  Mickey’s home.

I don’t understand the whole Disney phenomenon.  Just the idea of staying in a tourist resort area that’s owned and operated by a giant talking rat gives me the heebie-jeebies.  I’ve lived in Florida for a while, and my feelings for tourists visiting from up north and hanging out at these places are abysmal at best.  Thousands of rotund, pink-skinned, loud-talking vagrants engrossed in staring at swaying palm trees while drinking rum runners poolside, for hours.  Yes, hours.  The frozen drinks at these places are made with the cheapest alcohol available, some of it distilled illegally inside of rusty, old…